Happy New Year! We’ve officially stepped into a brand-new year, and with it comes the irresistible urge to set resolutions we may or may not stick to. While most of us are busy pretending to commit to gym memberships or cutting carbs, some employees have resolutions that are a bit… unconventional.
New Year’s resolutions are like the annual ritual of jotting down ambitious goals that we’ll conveniently forget by February. Most employees stick to the classic ones: “get promoted,” “lose weight,” or “finally figure out how Excel formulas work.” But some brave souls in the workforce dare to dream bigger (or stranger). Here’s a roundup of six unusual resolutions that employees secretly ponder as the calendar flips to January.
1. Switch Careers and Start a Vegetable Farm
There’s something about the end of the year that makes employees reevaluate their life choices. Maybe it’s the mounting emails, or maybe it’s someone from Accounts who keeps microwaving fish. Suddenly, the idea of escaping to a quiet countryside to grow vegetables feels oddly appealing. Vegetables don’t send follow-ups, don’t schedule pointless meetings, and certainly don’t ask, “Did you circle back on that task?”
This resolution is less about vegetables (though they’re wholesome) and more about the fantasy of leaving the grind for something simpler. Will it happen? Probably not. But it’s a nice daydream to cling to during the fourth Zoom call of the day.
2. Finally Start That Secret Plan B
Every office has that one person who’s constantly dropping hints about their “side hustle.” This year, that person is determined to make their candle business on Etsy the next big thing. Or maybe it’s the coworker who’s convinced their podcast about 18th-century knitting techniques will go viral.
Employees often dream about creating a backup career that frees them from their 9-to-5. Whether it’s becoming a yoga instructor, a crypto trader, or a professional dog walker, the resolution to commit to Plan B reflects the eternal hope for something better.
Spoiler alert: Plan B might take off, but it’ll likely remain a hobby that eats up weekends. And that’s okay because passion projects are worth it.
3. Learn How to Ghostwrite Perfect Out-of-Office Replies
Have you ever received an out-of-office email so perfectly worded that it almost felt like poetry? “I’m currently out of the office sipping cocktails on a beach and will not be checking emails until next year.” Goals, right?
Some employees resolve to up their OOO game, crafting witty, professional, and slightly sassy replies that leave colleagues in awe. It’s the ultimate flex in corporate communication. Bonus points if the automated message includes a curated list of podcasts or a motivational quote like, “You don’t have to reply to emails that stress you out.” Truly revolutionary.
4. Perfect the Art of the “Work from Home” Background
In a world of hybrid work, video call aesthetics matter. Forget professional development courses, some employees are prioritising the ultimate resolution: nailing their Zoom background.
The goal? A setup that screams, “I’m productive, creative, and also slightly cooler than you.” We’re talking strategically placed books (but nothing too intellectual), a healthy-looking plant (fake is fine), and the soft glow of ambient lighting. Extra ambitious individuals may even add a coffee mug with an inspiring message like, “World’s Okayest Employee.”
It’s not about working harder; it’s about looking good while doing the bare minimum.
5. Commit to Ignoring Emails Until After Coffee
There’s a certain type of employee who checks emails before their eyes are fully open. This year, they’re making a stand: coffee first, chaos second.
The resolution to establish healthy boundaries with email is bold, almost revolutionary. Why should “Hey, can you review this doc?” ruin the first sip of morning bliss? Setting boundaries isn’t just self-care; it’s reclaiming power. The inbox can wait.
Will they stick to it? Unlikely. By mid-January, they’ll probably be replying to emails at 6 a.m. like the rest of us. But it’s the thought that counts.
6. Figure Out the Secret to Avoiding Small Talk
“How was your weekend?” It’s the bane of every introvert’s existence. This year, some employees resolved to master the fine art of dodging unnecessary small talk.
Strategies include perfecting the “I’m-too-busy-to-chat” walk, developing a convincing “phone call face,” and strategically wearing headphones (even if nothing’s playing). Advanced practitioners might even memorise a few vague phrases like, “Oh, it was nice! How about you?” to deploy in emergencies.
Will they succeed? Maybe. But let’s be honest: avoiding small talk entirely is like trying to avoid group projects, impossible in most offices.
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Why These Resolutions Matter?
While these resolutions might sound whimsical, they reveal something important: employees are hungry for creativity, freedom, and joy in their work lives. Whether it’s fantasising about vegetables or crafting the perfect out-of-office message, these goals reflect a desire to break the monotony and inject a bit of personality into professional life.
So, as we enter the new year, let’s embrace these quirky aspirations. After all, the workplace could use a little more humour and a lot fewer boring PowerPoint decks. And who knows? Maybe this is the year someone starts a vegetable farm.
